Coping after difficult life events

Information for children: How you can help a friend

a brother and sister sitting in a field with their backs to the camera. The girl has her arm around the boy's shoulder

Your friend’s reaction to a death or loss can vary. Some friends may have reactions that are short-lived. Others may have more severe and long-lasting reactions.

People usually feel lots of different emotions when someone has passed away. They may feel:

  • Disappointed
  • Sad
  • Upset
  • Worn-out
  • Stressed
  • Unhappy
  • Ill
  • Week
  • Helpless
  • Crying
  • Regret
  • Frustrated
  • Irritated
  • Confused

How you can help

Here are some things you can do to help:

  • ask them if they need anything
  • talk to them. If they don't want to tell you, be a "pillow friend." Keep talking and communicate regularly to see if they're OK.
  • help them create a memory book to remind them of the person
  • give them space, but let them know that you are there for them and they are not alone
  • be ready to listen if your friend wants to talk about feelings
  • try to keep normal
  • do something nice for them like a happy card or gift
  • tell a teacher or adult to keep an eye on them if you are worried
  • bring together all the people that lost someone in a group and see how they feel
  • express your feelings
  • give them a hug
  • give reassurance by telling them something like:
    • "It happens to everyone. We will get through this together"
    • "You are not alone. You have us. Keep calm"